work and all it entails…..

After a looong while, I sit to write…

And all I can think of writing is this.

I don’t think he’s going to give me the programme I want, instead i think he’s going to let me continue with what i’m doing now.. which isn’t what i want to do….. and if he decides to give her the program i want to do….it would actually be a major blow to me…..

 

oh well… life.

Keeping busy

This year has really seemed to roll by. I’ve been shoved under project after project. I haven’t had a break in more than 8 months. And I am very tired. I have lost all form of independent thought. I have given in to following a routine. But yet I can’t say that I am sick of what I’m doing. I still enjoy doing what I do. I still feel the goosebumps every day when i walk into the studios. Our 30second countdown still makes my heart pound.

 

The only good thing about this entire year is that I haven’t had enough time to process the bad things that were actually supposed to adversely affect me this year.

After this project is over, I’m going to have a bit of time on my hands, and that’s when everything is finally going to hit me. And then I will soon realize, that none of this is actually worth it, when you go home and lay your head down you don’t find any form of personal gratification.

 

I hope to  get over that part of it. Maybe the faster and deeper i bury it, the better.

And then it hits you.

The good wife spends her entire life standing behind her husband despite all the wrong he has done.

And then there comes one exceptional hour, with the both of them sitting and drinking tequila. With all odds against them; the completely booked hotel, entering a lift with all the levels hit, the access card that didn’t work.

And then with her magic fingers, the access card gives them access into the presidential suite costing $7800 a night.  All this for that one exceptional hour they have been waiting for.

After all that not so good timing. 😀

Drawing lines

Boy A knows Girl A in a not-so-friendly-way.

Girl B likes Boy A.

Girls A and B are a little more than just acquaintances.

What do we do?

Poor little Boy A.

🙂

Surrounded by people

I think I had the most busiest birthday this year.

I loved having my parents with me, its something that hasn’t happened in a long time.

So many people. It felt so weird, so uncomfortable.

At the end of the night, I wanted to say something to someone, and I realized I didn’t have anyone to say it to. Despite having so many people around me.

 

Funny.

you know whats the worst thing that could happen?

you genuinely care for someone a lot more than you could ever fathom.

work so hard towards something you want.

put in so much effort into something.

and then some idiot just walks by and knowingly or unknowingly they grab what you’ve worked so hard for. Without lifting a finger.

There it goes, right from under your nose.

That is probably the worst feeling in the world.

Ache

Angie gave me this song to listen to.

Ache by James Carrington or something along those lines.

So, the song kind of reminds me of The Carpenters, when you really feel like just walking on and on and on with nothing but their music plugged in.

Yah, this song kind of makes me feel that way. Which is horrid. Because when all you have is music and your two feet taking you god-knows-where, you wouldn’t get very far. Instead, you’d find yourself at the nearest bench, head between your legs, gasping. Or just feeling depressed on the whole.

There are many things, I should have said, along the way.

Screw it all!