need to figure it out.

that line was mentioned once too many in the email. yeap, finally, he replied.

for the first time in 2years, Gerard replied me without letting me know the song he was listening to at the moment.

i fucked him over, just as he admitted to clinging on to it.

he thought i did not know it was a joke about the entire raping me crap. sometimes, he really is so silly.

i wish i could say something, to make it all better for him. the letter was so abrupt.

i need to figure it out, those were the only constant words.

i don’t even know if i might be regretting the letter. i doubt i am. hopefully.

he’s never emailed me this way before. it feels so neither here nor there.

shrugs. thats all i seem to have the energy for these days.

watching the days go by.

as another year drives by.

i really need to get a social life.

i’m afraid of telling anyone for fear of being looked down on.

can’t you see its all a facade?

i have yet to know myself, to be comfortable in my own skin.

wish there was someone to guide me through life. i need to know something’s waiting for me at the end.

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