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it was a wonderful day

till the inevitable took place.

i was happily shopping with mommy. S called me with the news. It went well for her, so i assumed all would be fine too. Little did I know, things would take a turn for the worst.

Somehow the bad news never stops rolling in. It simply never stops. I don’t know how many times i’ve said this; but i’m tired. I’m just tired and so exhausted of everything. It starts out nice, but in the end it fucks up, it fucks up so bloody bad. Half the time i don’t know where i find the energy to go on. Everything in me just wants to give way.

I wish i had the will power to let it all crumble.

tell me why. tell me why, pain trails me like a shadow. its hard enough having to deal with everything you expect to go wrong, when you don’t anticipate it, its a blow. its been dealt my way again. its getting tiresome to smile these days. all these empty days.

i just need a reason to smile. i need something to make me feel good. no, i dont want news about how great your life is. i want my life to be okay, not great, not fantastic, just bearable.

i feel like heart shattering again. the dream. i see it disappearing. and i made it happen, without even realizing it.

when? when? when? i just need a sign.


One Response

  1. perhaps when you have prata with me (like finally!), things would perk up 🙂 i assure you.

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