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The tale of the napkin faced monster!!
Eh check it out, I’m boogie-ing at sangeet’s party!
ME! Boogie-ing! WOW. Not bad ah(;

Okay, I woke up at like 6 this morning for the training. Darn proud of myself, considering the timing i’m very accustomed to these days.

Training was boring!

After the training ended, Jeevan, Angie and I were having an early dinner at mcds. You should have seen them go at convincing me to continue my education. They don’t seem to understand. I don’t know if journalism is worth studying for, especially in Singapore! If I were to get some experience, get to know the journalism environment in Singapore and still deem it unworthy but at the same time see myself falling more and more for journalism, then I want to be able to continue studying it so I do something overseas, even if it means working for a small magazine or newspaper… I’m just afraid working in the local environment will make me lose my interest… Seeing as how hard it is for a journalist to survive, and I’m not even talking politically you know.. I’m talking money wise, they really don’t earn much and work crappy hours. Don’t get me wrong, I’m willing to do that, that is if the scene here doesn’t kill the love I feel for writing…

They were so damn bent on making me continue my education…And unfortunately, general mass comm degress are really general…I don’t want that, I want to specialise in something I really love and crave for.. Be it tv, radio, writing or even advertising. I just want to know where I want to land, you know? And for now, I’m just too afraid of conquering…wait…even entering the real working world… They kept saying if I want to work, I should go out and get a permanent job. RELAX. I’m just scared. After everything I’ve been through, am I not even entitled to a little fear, to just build a little confidence…I mean what if I’m not what they’re looking for, what if they realize I’m actually really dumb? I’ve never been to a real interview before, you know? I’m so afraid I’ll screw it up. Hell, I’m not even sure my resume will be good enough for the ruling media company to accept me in. I mean what am I, after all? Who cares if I have a degree or not? I could have studied all my life and still not learnt a thing, right? Oh god, I’m just scared la….. That’s all…Just need a little time to boost my ego. To tell myself I’m not that dumb? I might actually be able to make it through…They might actually think I could be worth the shot…. Something to that extent, at least…

And if i were to continue, its not going to be from my dad’s money. Even if it means, working two jobs and paying through my nose for the next ten years for a reputable university masters. I’m willing to, because, who wouldn’t want a masters’ graduate from a respectable country, right? So I can fish around for a few years, to see what I want, don’t I? Am I really running out of time?

This is what I really want, to work for now, then figure my life out, then do a degree. I don’t want to make the mistake I made when I decided to go for Business Management. Just to please people. Look where it got me? And if everything falls apart,if my plan fails..its okay, I’m quite used to the feeling of hitting rock bottom even when I’ve given more than my best. Even when I’ve given it more than my all.

WAHHHHH. check out that long post man. I just needed to get it out la. Sometimes its really easier to talk one way. really, just to sort my own head out.

RAZINAHHHHHHHHHHH. help me. am I doing it wrong? why is everyone just studying? How come no one seems to be doing what I’m planning? Am I wrong?

Okay la, enough okay…

Lets have some pictures!


One Response

  1. Vanisha, we had this conversation right. But I’m not siding you because you are my friend. But it is because I agree with what you are doing. Why should you rush into something that you are unsure of? This is your future, your decision, your beliefs and your dreams to fulfill. Trust your instinct, and learn from others. Look at me, I’m also taking my time to decide path my own future. Stand on your view regardless if everyone disagree. I know you know what you are doing. SMILE!!! Life is short so make the best out of it.

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