would you fight?

these past few months, Ive seen so many relationships take a hard turn.

One relationship made me see so much, made me think so much too.

How could you love someone unconditionally when they’ve given up all form of hope?

When I see her hold on to what little piece of hope left (which isn’t much, or any at all)

I feel so proud for her, to know that she has the ability to fight, for she feels so strong for someone. That she believes so strongly in someone who has lost it all, in life, in love, in himself. How do you unconditionally love someone who knows of nothing anymore?

To know she believes speaks volumes of the love she possesses for him. And its wonderful. Words fail to bring this feeling to light.

Then I wonder, how could you? Have so much faith?

Feel so much love?

 Believe?

Trust?

How do you bring yourself to wake up next to an empty bed every morning, and still love the person who has put you to this? At the end of the day, how do you hold yourself together? How do you get yourself through the day?

I think of all this, and wonder, does everyone hold this ability? Do I hold the ability to love someone the way she does? despite all the barriers? Do I have the courage, the faith in love to bring me to where I want to be at the end of the day?

Then I remember, fighting for one person the same way she fights today. I remember what it felt to cry yourself to sleep, yet believe that he would eventually come back to you. I remembered what it felt like to love unconditionally. Sometimes, when I’m all alone, i still have this slight tinge of hope that it might all eventually come back to me. Everything we shared, that it would all return, that you and I wouldonce again be together despite all the odds. But thats only sometimes, on a rare occasion.

Other than that, you have caused to cease all my belief in love. You have taken away my ability to fight, my trust, the optimism that once was so evident. All of it has disappeared together with you.

I don’t know if Im too young to think as such, but I think you only love truly once. After that its not all you anymore. Your entire heart is not in it anymore. For all the time ive been without you, this is what i’ve come to believe. You love, and if you lost, you can’t ever again.  

Maybe time will teach me otherwise.

But till then, it just seems impossible.

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